Blue Shell Security
Blue Shell Security

The Education of Millionaires: It’s Not What You Think, and It’s Not Too Late.

…to not buy this horrible book.  I linked it above for consistency, but let me be clear, don’t waste your time with this book.  I bought it on Amazon I think for $15, and I sold it at Half Price books for a more than generous (on their part) $4.  I sold it because I didn’t even want to see it sitting on my shelf.  And I’m one of those annoying people who keep their books forever for seemingly no reason.  I have one quote from the book that I think sums it all up.

“I’m going to say something that has probably never been in print before in a business book. It’s probably never been in a business book because, at face value, it sounds kind of depressing. The bigger the impact you want to make on the world or in your chosen field-the bolder your purpose is-the greater the risks you’re going to have to take.”

Pretty sure that’s been in ALL THE BUSINESS BOOKS. The fucking ego on this guy.  I’ve never actually read a book where the writing style made me visibly angry.  Now, full disclosure, I didn’t make it past the hundredth page of this book.  But, to be fair, that just speaks to how bad this book really is.  I’m not the kind of person who quits reading if I’m not sure how it’ll turn out, and I think I’ve only ever turned off one movie halfway through.  Maybe that quote up there isn’t enough to convince you of the awfulness spewing forth from the pages of this monstrosity.  Well worry not, I have more.

“[Listening to Pink Floyd was] some of the most educational parts of my college experience, truly.”  ….just wow.  Michael Ellsberg is nothing but a glorified frat boy who’s read one too many marketing books and thought he’d try his hand.  As I believe I’ve mentioned before, I can’t stand when books contain gratuitous amounts of lead-up.  This is when the first chapter talks about what the rest of the book will be about and the first five pages of each chapter talks about what that chapter will be about.  Get to the content.  Don’t waste my fucking time because your editor thought it would be better if your book was 250 pages instead of 180.  Evidence of this persists throughout.  The man (loosely using that term) stretches the text of this book by defining almost every word we come across that could be considered as jargon by the readers (who are apparently piddling children.)  Examples are great to illustrate abstract points and definitions are great for seldom used or industry-specific terms, but at this frequency, you’re just insulting my intelligence.  And that’s how I felt the entire time I was reading this.  Like I was being talked down to.

One of Ellsberg’s favorite tools for “comedy” in the book is the alternate title.  Most sections of the book are constructed as follows: [Actual Title] (or [coffee-cup humor title]).  He clearly thinks coffee mugs and mall tshirts are the height of comedy and that he should be the champion of their cause.  Well I agree, this man is far better suited to peddling trite, unfunny tshirts and mugs at a stand somewhere to rednecks than being anywhere near moveable type.  However, that’s clearly his ambition.  He takes an opportunity every few pages or so to remind us all that he’s writing another book!  Keep an eye out for that one!  Sure to be a gem!  I don’t like commercials in my tv, I sure as shit don’t like them in my books.  You have committed an unforgivable sin sir.

Now, I do have one positive thing to say.  There’s a certain part of the book where an interviewee is telling a story and Ellsberg is forced to shut the hell up for a minute.  Those are actually decently interesting.  HOWEVER.  Ellsberg immediately follows those stories with his groundbreaking analysis.  “It’s possible to be monetarily rich, and spiritually poor!” (paraphrasing).  No shit.  I saw Richie Rich too.  Don’t take age old morals and try to present them as revelatory business ideas.

So, the point of this book is to say “Hey, if you dropped out of school or don’t think college isn’t right for you, it’s ok, a lot of successful people have done that… here’s how.”  Pretty interesting concept.  You expect to hear the Bill Gates story… all the old standbys.  No.  The first example is a man named David Gilmour.  Yes.  That David Fucking Gilmour.  And what’s more, Ellsberg thinks he’s so worldly and you’re so dumb that he’s going to coyly INTRODUCE David Fucking Gilmour to you!!  I’M 22 YEARS OLD AND I KNOW WHO DAVID GILMOUR IS!!  I can’t imagine how insulting that is to someone who grew up in the 60s or 70s.  Some kid trying to pretend like he discovered the lead guitarist of fucking Pink Floyd.  I know who Pink Floyd is, I know who David Gilmour is.  Don’t insult me you twat.  Also, THAT’S your first example!? David Gilmour didn’t do to well in school, and everything turned out all right for him.  Well, no shit.  I’m sorry dude, but your “practical learning” advice doesn’t apply here.  Yeah, that’s what Gilmour did.  But I have news for you, no matter how much “practical learning” I do, I’m not going to be goddamn David Gilmour.  It’s not going to happen.  Pick a more relatable example.

Insulting your intelligence seems to be the real focus of this book.  Ellsberg loves him some metaphors.  Bad metaphors, but metaphors nonetheless.  And if you have a little trouble with metaphors, don’t worry, that’s ok.  He’s going to point out each and every one to you.  Hey, hey guys, I just used a metaphor.  Check it out.  That’s some serious poetic shit.  The gems go throughout the whole book.  “People tend to feel safer with the known than the unknown.”  How does someone read that sentence in a book and not immediately close it in rage?  I know I did.

The ego of Ellsberg is never more apparent than in his tangents.  He likes to relate the subject matter to his life.  But pretty much immediately loses that link.  It’s like he constantly forgets what book he’s writing.  He wants to write his memoirs before he does anything noteworthy.  People like him are a dime a dozen.  Had some good fortune in his life, thinks he’s a superstar, but he’s still  just a frat boy.  Anyone who says “I’m not bragging” this much, clearly is.  His ego is so big, it distracts me every few paragraphs from the actual subject matter.  I’ll never take advice from someone who includes the phrase “Burning Man rules” (as in O’Doyle rules) in his book.  Every few pages talks about another marketing book.  At first it seems like recommendations and good sourcing, but quickly becomes “hey guys, look at all these books I read.”  No one cares Ellsberg.  No one cares.

Anyway, if you flip ahead to the later chapters, you see that the famous people interviews stop and he just starts chatting with his marketing buddies.  If you hate the stereotypical sales guys at your job, you’ll probably hate this book.  The book starts off with a great idea, and immediately throws it out for a new concept.  Book should have been titled “How to Market Yourself to your Betters (plus some marketing and sales stuff I read once.  Oh, and by the way, I’m awesome.)”

If you want to learn marketing and sales, that’s great.  This isn’t the book to learn it.  Ellsberg thinks he’s created the compilation of business/marketing/sales books in “Millionaires” that Ramit Sethi created for finance in “I Will Teach You To Be Rich.” (awesome book by the way), but he’s completely missed the mark.  And you would do well to avoid this book unless you need something to get you pissed off for some reason.  Then this is the book for you.